Financial trauma I hope I won't pass down on my daughter
My higher education did cost 30k to my parents. They blamed it on me at the end of it all, because I was really ill and couldn't get a job whatsoever, even with a degree. actually I only got a text message that reads "I made the calculation. Your education cost us 30k. You'll no longer get money from us. Bye."
At this point, I was stumped. I was a couple of weeks from my final exam, I was disabled, depressed, and broke, and they thought it was the right time to tell me that after I graduated I'll be left with no income at all. Later, my husband paid for everything until I got my shit together (many, many months later), otherwise I'd have been homeless.
At this time, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be mad at my parents. The gave me a lot of money over the years, indeed. Only I wasn't aware it came with a refund ticket. Or a hidden cashback. I didn't even know why they blamed it on me if it was money they willingly donated through the years. I completed my studies brilliantly, I thought it was enough?
It's been half a decade now. I'm still jobless. Still working on it. Today I was able to set aside 6k for my upcoming daughter. It's her money, it didn't even made a line in my account sheet. I decided this money has never been mine, this way she won't feel ashamed of being donated money she didn't ask for. I hope we'll be able to stash 10k-15k for the day she turns 18. My mother always said "you'll understand when you have kids of your own". Well, mother, my own kid is kicking and turning inside my uterus at this exact moment, and I've never understood you less. I'll even admit it's the first time of my life that I'm allowing myself to be mad at you. You fucked up. I'll eventually fuck up too because nobody's perfect and parenthood is hard, I know. I hope she'll never feel as lonely and unwanted as I did, though.