I want to make art again
I feel like I'm closing a loop. A 6-years-long one. I want to make art again. Finally! Let's go back to where it began.
sept 2020: I get my diploma in costume design from a high-ranking art school. I'm ill and severely burnt out. While most of my peers get a job in live arts, I move to a smaller town and decide I'll never put a foot on a theater floor again.
oct 2020 - may 2021: I live off my husband's money. My health crashes out, I spend most of my days in bed.
june 2021 - aug 2024: My illnesses are officially recognized, I get disability benefits. I practice fine arts and digital collage. I earn some money (not much), meet new friends, get published in art books and magazines, but I can't come out of the underground scene.
sept 2023 - jul 2024: A new drug finally helps to manage my illnesses. I experience the absence of pain for the first time in decades. I let my art aside to pour all of my energy into volunteer work for animal rescue centers. I want to get some knowledge in biology in order to care for injured animals. I think maybe I'll be able to inject biology into my art practice.
aug 2024 - aug 2025: I get an internship as a lab tech. I fall in love with my job in clinical pathology. I don't have time for art anymore.
sept 2025 - june 2026: A lab reorganization takes away everything I loved in my job. I quit. I try a couple other jobs but it leaves me physically and mentally injured. I delve into hobby entomology. I meet experts and spend 10+ hours a day refining my skills.
june 2026 - now: I find out I'm pregnant and my whole world shifts. Entomology make me want to puke, or cry, or both. I nearly fall for a scam school that promised me I'd get back in a lab someday. I can't find my way out of unemployment. I'm fucked but I've never been happier in my life. I want to trash my office to make room for the baby (art stuff, lab and entomology stuff... sediments from failed careers). My husband talks me out of it. I finally reapply for disability benefits. Maybe it's time to make art again?
P.S.: I love getting mail!